MUST GOD TELL YOU WHO TO MARRY? - Emmanuel Ariyo

       Almost every Christian believes that God must tell a man who to marry,  either by vision, dream, prophecy, voice or whatever sign. And for this reason, Christians seek signs before knowing who to marry. But surprisingly to me, I have seen Christians even pastors who claim to have gotten approval from God to marry a particular person but yet they could not live together. Some of them are divorced now, while some others are just managing their marriage by covering up serious contentions and issues that cannot be expressed. Only those that are close to such people can know. But on the other hand, I have seen some people who didn't pray, they are not even serious with spiritual things talk less of hearing God. But these people marry, due to love and compatibility, and up till now they are enjoying their marriages.
        So I began to ask myself what the problem could have been. Why will God lead a man into marriage and yet that marriage was not successful? Could it be that it was not God that led him but flesh or Satan? But some of these people are matured Christians and ministers who have ministered to people accurately by the Spirit. Or could it be that God really led them but they couldn't work out the marriage by themselves? But some of these people settle the marital problems of other people. So what could have been the problem then?
          I later realize that seeking a supernatural sign to know the right person for you is not the best thing but seeking knowledge of yourself, how to search right, and how to handle relationships is far more important. I will  be saying things that are far different from what you used to believe, I pray that you get the best from this.
 GOD DOESN'T GIVE WIVES, MEN ARE TO FIND WIVES
Apart from Adam whom God made first and gave wife, no other person was given wife by God in the scriptures. We have the stories of how some people got married in the Bible, we can talk of Isaac and Jacob. Studying through Genesis chapter 24, you will find the story of how Isaac married Rebekah. Abraham told his servant to go to his father's land and get a wife for Isaac. He prayed that the angel of the Lord will go with his servant and give him success in his quest for wife for Isaac. That was all Abraham did. Also, the servant prayed when he got to the land that a lady who would give him water and also his sheep should be Isaac's wife and it was so. No vision, prophesy, word or any prior supernatural sign. It was all about steps of FAITH and the Rebekah became a woman of destiny and purpose to Isaac.  Also studying Genesis chapter 29, you will find the story of how Jacob married Rachel. The Bible says in Genesis chapter 29 verse 18 that Jacob loved Rachel that was all.  He didn't even pray, no word of prophecy, or vision etc. And yet Rachael was a wife of destiny to Jacob.
              The book of proverbs chapter 18 verse 22 says whoso FINDS a wife finds a good thing and as obtained favour from God.  Note that a man must FIND a wife, for a man to find, he must SEARCH, talking about putting effort to get something done. So a man cannot just sit down and be waiting for vision or a prophetic word.
               But you must understand that in the process of searching, you need God. You can't search alone,  you need God's wisdom, directions and guidance so as not to make a wrong choice. But it's not compulsory you see vision or get any word somewhere. The way you pray for directions when you are about to read for exams and you read by faith and you succeed in exams, that's the same way you pray and act by faith for marriage. The Bible says that the steps of the righteous are ordered by God. If a man can pray and believe that God is ordering and guiding his steps, he won't be all out looking for signs before taking steps of faith.
     BASIC IMPORTANT FEATURES TO CONSINDER
1) Salvation : The person you desire must be born again, that's the only scriptural requirement. Light and darkness cannot fellowship, they can't agree and they cannot have any business together. A Christian and an unbeliever cannot reason alike and they can't fulfill destiny.
2) Compatibility :The person you desire must be compatible with you. He or she must understand and love what you do,  you must both be able to reason together, have common visions, goals and targets.  That's how you can be successful and fulfill purpose/destiny.
3) Love: Love is a feeling of attraction towards someone, It's a very strong force that binds two people together. It's very important in maintaining relationships and marriages. But sometimes the feeling of love fails, that's why you can love someone today and hate him/her later. So love should not reside at a level of feelings alone, but must go deeper into the home of decision. A stage where love is not a feeling but decision.
                I am not against vision or prophecy to locate your marriage partner, they are good if you have them. But they don't guarantee a successful marriage. As a child of God, we have the Holy Spirit and he is in unism with our spirit. So if we subject our flesh to the Spirit,  we love right, act right and take wonderful decision by default. It's all about faith.

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